Friendship

So what makes people friends? And I ask this not based on one event, but on several over the last few days, last week. I'm sure if a certain person reads this. they will assume it's all about one argument or discussion.  A negative event. But it's just as much about a very nice conversation I had last night. A conversation wth someone, who might be a friend. Or maybe just a client or associate.

So what makes a friend? Is it shared political beliefs? Shared religion? Do we pick our friends based on proximity, physical attraction, similar tastes in music or film? I don't know.  And at what point does someone cross that line and become friends.  And at what point do we recross that line and the friendship dies?

If someone betrays you were they ever really a friend?  Can you accidentally betray someone? I know nothing hurts worse than being hurt by a friend.  I have had that happen and I have hurt friends.  I have an ex friend now who feels I betrayed him, he can't forgive me, and honestly I'm glad that friendship is dead.

Other friendships I can't let go.  Even though I know I should, I need to let them go and move on.  I don't want to but I know more pain lies ahead.  And it's my fault, my fault for being lonely, for seeing the best in someone and wanting more than friendship.  I should have known better.  I can't shake her out of my head, and I'm barely even in hers.

Is this person a friend, or am I just smitten. But this isn't just about her and it.  Can I be friends with someone with a huge age difference, of a different gender.  We don't hang out, we do talk and chat.  Mostly about the work/hobby we have in common, but occasionaly just about stuff.  It's just semantics really. Did I talk to my friend, or did I talk to an acquaintance, or associate? Why is it even important? Who said it was important?

If web writing was limited to things that were imporant then there would be no stories about Snooki and her devil spawn. Maybe I just wanted to write. To spill out just a bit of the boiling bile inside me before the pressure gets too much and I explode.  So I come here, where I don't have to stay on subject.  I don't have to be fair, accurate, or precise.  I can be bitter.  I can post whatever I want, good, bad, or random.  I can say thank you for making me smile.  I can say fuck you for hurting me, wihtout any of the Facebook bullshit.  And neither of you will ever read this. But someone might.  Whatever I have blown off steam.